Bottom of the Barrel

Well, summer is fast approaching, so now is the time to shake those reds, but not before we talk about a new favorite…

SO, I would like to introduce you to my favorite fusion of roosters and wine. No, unfortunately we are not talking about inebriated farm fowl (if only), but the Californian HRM (her royal majesty) Rex-Goliath.

Lets start with the rooster: this 47-pound bird was said to have toured with a Texan traveling circus around the turn of the 20th century—to put this is perspective, the average size for a rooster is between 5 to 8 pounds.

In other words, this was one fat-ass bird.

(my pet cock—i mean—rooster…and no, I’m not compensating for anything…)

It’s legacy now remains with this winery, who has adopted both the roosters name, Her Royal Majesty Rex-Goliath, and also the original circus poster on its label, which can now be found on the shelves of most major markets.

HRM Rex-Goliath (often fondly referred to as simply “Rex”) uses grapes from all over California for its wines, and was among the top 5 wines under $25 for two years in a row by Wine & Spirits’ Annual Restaurant Poll, among other awards and recognitions.

We’ll be looking at their cabernet sauvignon today. 

the Cabernet Sauvingnon grape has been around since the 17th century, at which point the crossing of Cabernet franc (a black grape that produces a pale red wine) and Sauvingnon blanc (a green grape that produces a crisp, fresh white wine), came into being.

This grape variety has been popularized due to it’s thick skin, and rot resistant vines, which make the cultivation of these beauties easier than other types.

Growing Cabernet Sauvignon in California yields an interesting result due to the soil difference of the hillside vineyards and the valley floor—

In the mountains, less fertile, thin soil is what is available, which causes the grapes to be smaller and more intense in flavor.

In the fertile valley, however, the overall yield is much higher, producing two to four times more grapes, which are usually bigger in size and give a more diluted flavor.

Rex-Goliath uses a unique combination of the two, balancing the strong hillside grapes, which alone can produce a wine with an alcohol content of 14%, with the more subtle valley grapes, allowing the drinker to get the taste of the Cabernet Sauvignon, without the flaws of each extreme.

This wine is less sweet than others I have reviewed, and instead has a nice woodsy finish, due to the oak barrels that it matures in, with soft mocha and tart raspberry undertones. It still weighs in with a whopping 13.5% alcohol content, but you wouldn’t know it from the taste, absent of the tell-tale alcoholic sting and residual pucker. You can find it selectively in grocery stores, or even Costco, for 8-12 bucks a pop.

Pair it with  fatty meat, like lamb or steak, or even just with a good burger. It’s a meaty wine, and it deserves a meaty companion. 

It seems to be a hit or miss with most independent reviewers, but it’s consistently been wining contests and medals, its most recent being a gold medal in the 2011 San Francisco Chronicle Wine Competition.

So, screw the sourpusses who think they’re hot shots cause they know some wine terminology and own a computer

(oh, wait. thats me.)

Lets talk boxed wine. Budget-friendly, easy to store, easy to pour, it’s basically the best thing since sliced bread. A staple of low budget events, it usually gets a bad rap because, well, it’s wine in a box. However, don’t be put off by the fact that your chardonnay is sealed in a plastic bag inside corrugated cardboard, it beats the shit out of having that amount of wine bottled. It’s less packaging, keeps better (since oxygen can’t get into the bag to oxidize the wine), and the handy spout doesn’t hurt either.  

As with any wine, you have to choose your type carefully. Each box holds about seven bottles of wine, so alcohol content does play a crucial part in deciding what to get.

Blush wines (the pink ones) have usually an 8-9% alcohol content, white wines 9-11%, while reds can hold up to 13%. I highly discourage buying a red box wine though. If you feel like you can stomach anything and enjoy a good headache, then by all means, go for it. Keep in mind that good, cheap red is almost impossible to find in the first place, and you definitely won’t find it in a box. Blush wines are generally a safe bet, sweeter than the whites, and a good starter for people who usually don’t drink wine. It’s a personal favorite of mine for drinking games and fast drinking. Go for the White Zinfandel, which usually has an 8% alcohol content (thats about double what you find in cheap beer!).

Yes, it’s kind of a chick drink, but it’s fucking pink.

How can you argue with that? (You can’t)

Moving on to whites, this is where choosing gets a bit more difficult. I’m partial to the alcohol-heavy Chardonnay, which is tolerable with ice, though it may be too strong for those who are unaccustomed to the taste. If you are one of those people, go with the somewhat milder Chablis. As a strong advocate of white wines, I always keep some in the fridge to drink with dinner, since it goes with almost anything.

If you feel like you need red wine, go for the Burgundy. Although it may look tempting, never, ever, ever get the Merlot, unless you have a death wish. Death by repulsion, that is.

I haven’t even gotten to the best part of all this…are you ready? You can get a whole 5 liter box for just ten bucks! I know. Seems too good to be true. My usual wine destination is Rite Aid, which stocks both Franzia and Vella. One or the other always seems to be on sale, so occasionally you can find it even cheaper.

Compare this to a 24-pack of cheap beer, which is about 8 awful liters of rat piss, with a mere 4-5% alcohol content. Get more bang for your buck, go for the box!

Now, lets all take a moment to thank Australia for this fabulous invention that’s kept us coming back to the spout for more since the 1960’s. Cheers, mate!

I am officially done and sick of sweet wine. It was really great for a while, being able to drink it like juice, but in the end, you aren’t really drinking wine. Its a sad cop-out.

sweet wine is now a pussy drink, in my book.

we are back to the dark and soulful, and we are lovin it.

especially when it comes in the form of a wine with a 13.5% alcohol content. This was a night to be drunk, and goodness knows, the mission was accomplished.

Now, I found this 2009 Redwood Creek Malbec at my local Food4less and RiteAid for just about 5 bucks a pop, however, looking online has shown it to be around 7. Really though, 2 dollars isnt THAT big of a difference.

Of course, you COULD spend the 2 dollars on four jack in the box tacos, but that comes later, accompanying and satiating the drunchies. and thats besides the point.

anyway, onwards and upwards.

Malbec grapes are generally associated with Argentinean wines, which is why it’s so surprising to find a norcal (northern california, duh) wine that uses these grapes. It usually produces a full-bodied wine thats a dark, dark red.

It looks so serious, you know this shit means business.

So, it doesnt have a lot of awards to it’s name, but it did win a silver medal in the malbec catagory in the INDIE international wine competition…

…if that means anything to you…

POINT IS:

Impress a chick with this deep, romantic (bleh) red.

Or impress your man with your superb drinking abilities as you down this wine.

Either way, it’s a win win situation, and it involves someone being hammered.

On another note, we’re closing in on 300 followers! (when did this happen?)

and it’s just about the month and a half anniversary of my first post on carlo rossi (how exciting)

UP NEXT, a special on box wine: what to avoid (which is most of them), and the best balance between alcohol content and taste!

You know you’re excited.